What dreams may come

Dreams; what are they? Do they mean something? What do they represent? 

Everyone has those chase scene dreams, where you never really get away. Why? As fast as you run, it's never fast enough. It's really frustrating. 

I am always chased by a man - always around the same age - usually with a gun - trying to shoot me. WTF?! I never did anything to him! Unfortunately, he always catches up to me and I have to face him at some point.

Well the other night, I got ahold of a gun myself. But when I turned to face him, no matter how many times I shot him, he kept coming as if he were just fine! As bad as it is, I even aimed for his head. Why wouldn't he fall? It made me question my aim, which in real life probably isn't great. 

Is this dream telling me I try to fight the menaces in life trying to chase me away? That if I get a gun, it won't be effective? That no matter if I fight, life will eventually take me down? That sucks. 

I don't wake up remembering most dreams, especially long enough to write it down later. But this one, as well as other "chase dreams", is stuck in my memory. 

What am I running from? What am I fighting?

What Ifs...

To live one's life looking back, and wondering about all those 'what ifs' takes away from the pleasure of the present. Well, letting go is easier said than done, and quite frankly...that sucks. I want to let go; I want to move on; I want to be rid of this nagging 'what if'!

That fact is 'what if' isn't; so its pointless to linger over something that cannot be altered. Maybe it isn't so much what if, as knowing what it would/could have been? That's just as stupid to be stuck on though!

Everyone moves through life at their own pace, down their own path. Will our paths ever intertwine again? Should I have stayed, or was leaving the right thing to do? 'What if' I'd stayed? Should I have stayed? Guess I'll never know. 

I thought I'd washed my hands of this. Why now? Why can't this haunting stop?! This hollow feeling needs to go away! I'm ready to let go. 

Road Rage

Have you ever been driving along, glance in your rearview mirror and notice the person behind you fuming and sometimes yelling? Well that person behind you is probably me :)

Yes, I have a touch of road rage, at times. I was asked what caused me to get to this point of physical expression. Well, I honestly didn't have a clue. So it's high time I considered this question and have decided to write it here. 

Sometimes I'm in a rush because, like so many females, I'm running late. In which case, I Always get stuck behind the slowest driver alive! This is when patience would be great; but unfortunately, my patience can only last so long. 

Then there are those "rare" drivers, who either cut you off or ride your tail (sparking your own road rage). Nothing like making someone else mad just because you are.

I have considered that my anger is first triggered by fear. I don't trust other drivers. There are the others with road rage who drive like maniacs, the thoughtless ones on the phone who can't multi-task and swerve into your lane or go beyond slow. I'm probably leaving some out, but those are the two types that cause me the most trouble. While I might tend to be aggressive at times, I'm very defensive as well. I have to be, with all the crazies out there who somehow got a license. 

So those are the two factors in escalating my road rage, running late & fear of other driver's stupidity. I've found that I become uneasy when I don't have control over certain situations. Driving is definitely one of them.