Hunny Bunny

Random fact of the day: I may try to act like a hard ass, but in reality I'm a very sensitive person. Those of you reading who know me well, are probably smiling and nodding in agreement lol. 

I suck at keeping my thoughts and feelings hidden. Honesty is very important to me, which might be why I suck at lying :) 

When I'm happy, I can't keep a smile or giggle in. When I'm mad, haha well... it's quite obvious. And when I'm down, or deep in thought, hiding it is impossible. 

The last year has been hellacious, and unfortunately for those closest to me, you've seen my ups and downs. You'll never understand how truly grateful I am for your love and unfailing support. I can only hope and pray to be half of what you've been for me. 

Before this roller-coaster year, I knew who I was, what I wanted. I felt like I had a lot to offer. College was a time for me to learn a great deal; about myself, life lessons, and made me realize who/what I don't want to be. 

One of my biggest struggles has been feeling unwanted, 'tainted', worthless. Like I have nothing to offer anymore. It's taken over a year to finally feel like I'm healing and accepting my reality, but not letting it define who I am. I lost my sense of self.

Being a passionate/sensitive/emotional person makes it difficult to look at certain situations objectively. I know I do have a lot to offer, and I'm worth the time/effort. I want to be seen for Me, not the scarlet letter I feel burned onto me. Expecting you to automatically be able to do this is unrealistic. I just hope in time you won't have to try to look past it, you just will. 

I don't want to feel 'tainted'... I want to be accepted, for me. My baggage is an issue, one I feel shame & guilt over... I can only hope the weight of it will lighten more with time... :-'